A Very Sad Goodbye

Jake and I are back in America...2 weeks earlier than expected. I have wanted to write about us leaving for a few days now, but honestly, it's been really hard. Maybe I'm still in denial we even left, I'm not sure. All I know is that my core has been rocked and I am still still dealing with the pain.

Up until the last hour we were there, we were still trying to work with the airlines to switch our departure date. Jake knows more details as to what exactly what went wrong; in the end, we couldn't stay. It went back and forth that last day on Tuesday....one second there was a chance of staying, then the next there was no chance...and it went like that the whole day. I wanted to vomit. It was like a roller coaster ride and it wasn't a fun one.

I wasn't mentally prepared to leave. We had prepared and packed for our 3 week stay way in advanced...so to have it feel like we were being pushed out, well, I was mad at God. Why? Honestly, what do you have for me back at home that could possibly be any better than in Rwanda? It seemed so unfair. Jake had lead the group for 1o days and that was is primary focus. We both just assumed we would have more time with Rwanda and our dear staff friends later. But that's not what God wanted.

The last hour was crazy. I was packing up our stuff while Jake ran to the airport with Ben to talk to SN Brussels one last time. Everyone was packed and taking pictures and saying some goodbyes. All I could think of was that I was running out of time to say goodbye. I was panicking even more.

Jake came back with the final no. So, we started loading up the 2 vans and were ready to go; Jake, Mary, and I weren't able to fit in the last of the vans to the airport..we would wait for them to come back to shuttle us for a second round.

We left the house and drove to the airport only to find that Cyprien and Vianney were already gone. Jake cried, so hard, it was hard to see him so sad. We were both unbelievably disappointed. This was how our trip was ending? It seemed unreal. If we were going to leave early, we at least wanted to say goodbye!

I'm not writing this to sound like "Debbie Downer", that's not it at all. But I really needed to wrap up our trip with my feelings and with some of the last couple day's pictures....the pictures, for me, really help me process through all that God has revealed to me. They make me smile, they help me to never forget the people of Rwanda. They continue to encourage me through rough times when I know that there exists such beautiful, contagiously happy people who have nothing materially and who have experienced and continue to experience hardships that I could not fathom. They teach me so much.

This was an amazing trip for me, because once again I saw the power of God and his Holy Spirit working through GFR and our team to touch the people of Rwanda and to move and change us! God was there HUGE time! All the glory and honor to Him!

Bits of our hearts are left in Rwanda when we leave. When God allows, we'll be back!

Thank you Cyprien, Vianney, Bosco, Travis and Astrid, Joseph, Isabelle, and Lorance for all of your love and hard work! You all are amazing. May God bless you!